I am learning to live in the unresolved.
Four years of startups taught me to decide fast. A lack of decisiveness kills a company: unmade decisions pile up, and eventually you're drowning in them. So you learn to move. You learn that any direction is better than standing still.
So I did what I knew how to do. I built. In six weeks I shipped a handful of apps, designed an entire print-on-demand business, spun up a half dozen websites. I stayed in motion because motion felt like progress.
But I was solving for speed when the actual problem required stillness.
My whole life I've prided myself on having it together. Every corner scrutinized, every surface polished. The plan was always clear, and if it wasn't, I'd make one before anyone noticed. Not having a plan feels like failure and that's what my brain wants me to believe.
But the opposite is likely true. When everything is tightly held, there's nothing to discover. It's only when things come a little undone, when the edges are exposed and the seams are showing, that I actually learn something about what's underneath.
I'm not there yet. But for the first time, I'm not rushing to get somewhere else.
Who am I again? I am Brett Bejcek. I live by my top values of Exploration, Iteration, and Connection. Exploration is what I do; I do it through iteration; and I do it to create more connection. I am prioritizing physical health, building community, and cultivating creativity.
Fun Metrics. A peek into my life: some tied to goals, others just for fun. Because I’m not a business, I’m a silly human. And silly humans sometimes spend 30 minutes comparing pastries consumed instead of finishing their to-do list.
ㅤ | February 2026 | March 2026 | Change |
Avg workout min /day | 98 | 86 | - 12.2% |
Avg steps / day | 11,484 | 10,825 | - 5.7% |
Flights taken | 0 | 0 | +/- 0.0% |
Books read | 2 | 2 | +/- 0.0% |
Side projects shipped | 8 | 4 | - 50.0% |
Pastries consumed | 16 | 8 | - 50.0% |
Days journaled | 5 | 4 | - 20.0% |
Fun lil’ memories
Highlights of March:
- Launching Hodgepodge: I built an app because I wanted to feel closer to my friends. And the wild part is it actually worked: not as software, but as a thing that changed my relationships. I know what my friends ate for dinner last night. I know who's stressed and who's thriving and who got a really good haircut. A few hundred people joined off one little announcement, which is absurd and wonderful and makes me feel incredibly lucky to have people in my life who will just try my weird stuff without asking why. The moment that got me though: a few people I'd never met sent in a feature request last week. It reminded me of really early days of Rewind. Genuine delight.
- The Benihana moment: I was a kid who took himself too seriously. I wanted to be high status. I was scared of being embarrassed, and I kept a tight filter on everything I felt. Now I'm in my 30s and something has shifted. My friends and I went to Benihana, pretended to celebrate a fake wedding anniversary, and were absolutely the loudest table in the restaurant. A past version of me would have been mortified. This version was laughing so hard he couldn't breathe. Who doesn’t love an onion volcano?! There's something beautiful about letting yourself be the rowdy group. About choosing joy without running it through a filter first.
- Letting others help: Someone stole my gym shoes. Old me would have immediately gone into resolution mode: problem identified, problem solved, no one needs to know. But I'm trying something different. I let people help. I said it out loud instead of handling it quietly. This terrifies me. I am a hardcore internalizer and I have been my entire life. Maybe this whole gap year thing is really about one thing: learning to externalize. To let things out instead of keeping them managed and contained. The miracle will happen today, if I let it.
Lowlight of March:
- Surgery: I lost a week. That doesn't sound like much until your brain does the math: 52 weeks off, one week is 2%, and suddenly scarcity is running the show again. I regressed into what I can only honestly describe as sad boi energy: isolated, low, not building, not really doing anything. I thought I'd at least write some code from bed, but here's the thing I learned: when my body can't move, my mind doesn't want to either. Physical energy and creative energy are not separate systems for me. They're the same one.
How did I do on my goals last month?
March Goals
Stop | Start | Continue |
Late night snacking ❌ | Morning stretching ❌ | Working out 🟡 |
ㅤ | ㅤ | Investing in community ✅ |
ㅤ | ㅤ | Taking advantage of living in NYC (more shows + events) ✅ |
ㅤ | ㅤ | Rituals with friends ✅ |
ㅤ | ㅤ | Saturday work sessions ✅ |
ㅤ | ㅤ | Building + shipping ✅ |
ㅤ | ㅤ | Cooking ❌ |
What am I prioritizing for this month?
Pairing back. Only one or two changes this month. (Trying my hand at better focus 🙃)
April Goals
Stop | Start | Continue |
Late night snacking | Morning stretching | Working out |
ㅤ | One boring distribution task per day before you open your code editor. | Investing in community |
ㅤ | ㅤ | Taking advantage of living in NYC (more shows + events) |
ㅤ | ㅤ | Rituals with friends |
ㅤ | ㅤ | Saturday work sessions |
ㅤ | ㅤ | Building + shipping |
ㅤ | ㅤ | Cooking |
I am learning to live in the unresolved. Some months that looks like shipping six things in six weeks. This month it looked like letting someone help me find new gym shoes. Both count.
With love,
Brett Bejcek
On the first of every month I do a little self-audit and put it out into the world. Why? Accountability, reflection, and because life’s more fun when you share the messy middle.