When I ask people’s highs and lows and they say “I don’t have a low” it’s a personal pet peeve. I believe it stems from a lack of vulnerability/trust, an inability to process negative emotions, or a belief that you have to carry burdens alone. I believe this because I used to be one of those people: a victim of toxic positivity. By pure mathematical standards if there is a high, there has to be a low. That’s just how it works. I was going to say I don’t have a low. After all, I am the healthiest and happiest I have been (possibly ever?!?). But I caught myself. My low is that I struggle with loneliness. I avoid processing that emotion and sitting with it because I am embarrassed by it. I tend to shove it into a dark corner because I am ashamed of it. It’s a weird and conflicting feeling to be honest. I look at my past month and had plans every evening. I saw the people and friends I care about so deeply and there is SO much love there. But I can’t help sitting with this feeling of wanting a more “open door” lifestyle. Where friends are flowing in and out of my home (no planning ahead necessary) and sharing in community together. Maybe that’s filled by a partner? Maybe that’s filled by an open invite recurring Saturday hack session at my place? Maybe that’s filled by uprooting my life and focusing on communal living? Who knows. To be honest, this is the first time I am actually allowing myself to process this and it’s rather raw and unpolished. I don’t have answers and I don’t even know if there are actionable steps; but I just wanted to share with you. ✨ It goes against every fibre of my being not to wrap this up in a neat little bow with some grandiose takeaway, but alas, I am challenging my past (and current self) to just share my process with you without any finished conclusion. Thanks for being part of my journey 🙂.